Break the Cycle of Workplace Drama

by Julie-Anne Peake, Clinical Psychologist

Whether you're an employee or manager, here is a brief run down of the Drama Triangle, how it can play out in the workplace and how you can break the cycle.

Quick checklist

• Are deadlines met by heroics.
• Do owners change midstream.
• Do people say “no one told me.”
• Is feedback rare until it is sharp.
  

Two or more yes answers suggest the triangle is active.

What is The Drama Triangle?

Psychiatrist Stephen Karpman (1968) described a loop with three roles. Remember they are just roles we can slip into and not intended to label people negatively.

• Victim: feels stuck. “This is impossible.”
• Rescuer: takes over. “I will fix it.”
• Persecutor: blames or controls. “You keep messing this up.”

People swap roles quickly. It feels good for a moment. It hurts teamwork later.

How it shows up at work, and how to exit

Example 1: The late report

What happens

Connor sends a sharp 7 pm message about a missing draft. Priya replies that she never gets the right data. Jess jumps in and finishes the work at night. Deadline met. Resentment grows.

Exit moves now

• Creator (Priya): “I can deliver by Friday if finance confirms three fields by 2 pm. I will draft sections one and two today.”
• Coach (Jess): “What have you tried. What is your next step. I have 20 minutes to unblock, not to take over.”
• Challenger (Connor): “The standard is draft by 3 pm Wednesday. Last week was late, which cut client prep. What is your plan to meet the time.”

What management changes

One owner per deliverable. A clear checklist for “done.” Short office hours for help so last-minute rescues do not become the norm.

Example 2: The messy handover

What happens

Marketing assumes IT will run testing. IT assumes marketing owns it. The step is missed. People argue. A manager takes the whole process over.

Exit moves now

• Creator (team): “We own testing for this campaign. First test runs at 2 pm.”
• Coach (manager): “Who is the owner. What is the next milestone. What support do you need, and by when.”
• Challenger (cross-team lead): “No launch without a signed test log by 4 pm.”

What management changes

Put handover rules in the template: owner, due time, test checklist, sign-off. Store it where everyone can see it.

Example 3: Avoided feedback that explodes later

What happens

Sam’s powerpoint slides keep missing basics. Mia rewrites them each week to be helpful. Weeks later Mia is burnt out and snaps in a meeting.

Exit moves now

• Creator (Sam): “I will use the slide checklist and book a 15-minute review on Tuesdays.”
• Coach (Mia): “Which part of the checklist trips you. Pick one skill to improve this week.”
• Challenger (Mia): “Slides must meet the checklist by Wednesday 3 pm. If not, the review moves to next week.”

What management changes

Use a simple feedback script: behaviour, impact, expectation, next check. Example: “The deck was 12 hours late. That cut client prep. Expectation is 3 pm Wednesday. Let us confirm your plan by noon.”

If you are the employee

If you notice you're in the Victim role, shift to Creator

• Ask: “What can I do today.”
• Make a clear request.
• Own one piece of the solution.
  Script: “To hit Friday, I need the final numbers by 2 pm. I will finish the summary today.”

If you notice you're stuck in the Rescuer role, shift to Coach

• Ask before helping.
• Return responsibility with questions.
• Set limits on time and energy.
  Script: “Do you want ideas or a quick review. I have 20 minutes.”

If you notice you've slipped into the Persecutor role, shift to Challenger

• Describe behaviour and impact, not the person.
• State the standard and the next step.
  Script: “Two errors reached the client, which hurt trust. The standard is peer review before send. What is your plan.”

What managers can do to break the cycle

1. Make ownership explicit
   Use one clear owner per task. No shared owners for the same outcome.
2. Improve request hygiene
   Every request includes outcome, owner, due time, and constraints. Write it down.
3. Replace rescuing with support agreements
   Offer office hours and short unblock sessions. No silent rewrites at night.
4. Set meeting guardrails
   Agenda, roles, timebox, decisions captured. End with “who does what by when.”
5. Run a 10-minute reset when drama starts
   Name it: “We are in the triangle.”
   Regulate tone and pace.
   Reframe with Creator, Coach, Challenger.
   Confirm the next step and timestamp.
6. Repair after rupture
   “I took over last week. That removed your ownership. From now on you own client updates. I will review Thursdays at 3 pm for 15 minutes.”
7. Escalate when needed
   If conduct risks safety, bullying, or discrimination, follow policy. Coaching does not replace formal action.

RACI in brief, plus useful variants

RACI roles

• R = Responsible: does the work. Can be several.
• A = Accountable: owns result and sign-off. Exactly one.
• C = Consulted: gives input before action. Two-way.
• I = Informed: gets updates after action. One-way.

Rules

One A per task. At least one R. Use C sparingly. Use I for broadcast.

Quick example

Monthly report: A = Team Lead. R = Analyst. C = Finance, Legal. I = Executive Assistant.

Variants

• RASCI: adds S = Support for hands-on help to R.
• RACI-VS: adds V = Verifier and S = Signatory for quality and final sign-off.
• DACI: D = Driver, A = Approver, C = Contributors, I = Informed. Good for decisions.
• RAPID: R = Recommend, A = Agree, P = Perform, I = Input, D = Decide. Good for high-stakes choices.
• CAIRO: adds O = Omissions / Out of scope to make non-involvement explicit.
• MOCHA: M = Manager, O = Owner, C = Consulted, H = Helper, A = Approver. Good for development tasks.

Learn More

Read more here with if you want to understand how we can be predisposed to slipping into one of these roles. There are 3 short videos by Lynn Forrest (a Canadian Clinical Psychologist) who provides some insightful (and humorous) videos that are worth a watch. 

Bottom line

Do not label people. Change the moves. Small, steady shifts to Creator, Coach, and Challenger reduce drama and improve results.

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